Friday, 3 July 2015

Womble 4; An Early Extract!

Because I've just got back from Glastonbury 2015 and I'm in the midst of of the post-Glasto comedown, I thought I'd post a brief extract from the start of my new (and yet untitled)  book.

It's early days yet and there's a lot more to write, but fingers crossed, it should be finished and out in the big wide world before the end of this year.

This is unedited and in draft for now. so it may be culled in the end; but for now-enjoy! 



It’s just because since the first time I went, at the ripe old age of 48, in 2010, I can’t imagine sitting at home in June, without a ticket, watching it all happen on the BBC. I have to recognise that somewhere along the way, at some point in the future, then that’s bound to happen. There will be a year when I can’t go, either because of sheer circumstance, or events beyond my control or simply because I’m unlucky and don’t end up with a ticket. 

It might even be next year. 

Without becing overly morbid, I have to face the prospect that each year might be the last ever time that I go to Glastonbury. And because of that every second, every minute, every hour at Glasto is something to be remembered and treasured. 

Not every single moment  at Glasto can be special-it is frankly ridiculous to expect it to be so- but it’s important to remember the mundane and even the boring moments (which of course there are.) Because, as in life, what makes the special moments “special”, are the boring and mundane bits in between.

And those special moments happen more at Glastonbury than anywhere else. I suppose it’s all different for everybody who goes, but for me, there’s been hundreds of them. They are all simple things, yet the simple things are usually the most beautiful. 

Walking through the gates on the first day and realising that you’re back. 

The feeling of a sort of homecoming. 

Grass underfoot as you walk.   

Waking up in a tent after the first night, not really aware of where you are for a few brief seconds and then remembering. 

Seas of smiling faces. 

A cup of tea in a proper mug and a piece of toast. 

Sitting under clear blue, crystal blue, blazing hot skies with Amy and seeing The National for the first time. 

Talking to people. Just chatting. 

Watching Thomas’ reaction when we stood at the top of the hill by the campsite and seeing how truly staggered at the sheer size of it all. 

Fireworks exploding in the night sky. 

Stevie Wonder. 

Sitting in my fold-up chair and gently dropping off on a Sunday afternoon after working for four days in 2011; shift over, mud drying up and the sun shining very brightly. 

So many memories.



My previous three books about Glasto are all available here either as Kindle e books or in paperback;



Thursday, 2 July 2015

Spiritualized-Totally Shuffled extract



March 2nd

Spiritualized-All of My Thoughts-Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space 

“Ladies and Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space”- the ultimate break up-album of all time. There may be others of course, probably country records from the 50’s or 60’s or some singer songwriter stuff from the 70’s, but this must be up there. The track titles alone give it away; “I think I’m in Love,” “Stay with Me”, “Broken Heart”. If you can call music sad, or resigned, or world weary-just the music, not the lyrics or the vocal style, then this is it. Add into this the saddest, loneliest words sung by Jason Pierce, with the most tired, fed-up voice since Neil Young on “Tonight’s the Night”. 

This gives us the best break-up record of all time.

It’s also the best drug record of all time. 

Are drugs necessary for good music? 

Personally, I think that using drugs is the biggest waste of time and quite frankly, ridiculous and naff. 

It’s beyond all the clichés of evil and stupid-which we all know to be true anyway-it’s just crap and daft. 
Having said that, and this is where I’m conflicted so much-some great records have been made on drugs-Miles Davis’ entire output for example. 

This is not only an album probably made on drugs, but one blatantly about drugs as well -when Jason Pierce sings about “there’s a hole in my arm where all the money goes”, he’s not pulling any punches or being obscure. 

To allay any possible confusion, the album originally came packaged as a blister pack pill, with the same generic typeface as prescription medicine. The track listing and inner sleeve was made like the information leaflet you get in a packet of pills and to cap it all, they affixed a label to the sleeve, sized and typed exactly the same as you get on a bottle of pills i.e. take one daily, avoid alcohol, may cause drowsiness, if affected do not drive.           

It’s also the best Spiritualized album and I think, the most successful. It’s my favourite one anyway. 

They did release a good live album after this, recorded at the Royal Albert Hall, but the best tracks on that were from “Ladies and Gentlemen...” so maybe it doesn’t count as a different album in itself. 

Their previous two albums were the sound of a band finding their feet, and after “Ladies & Gentlemen…” I had the feeling that they’d said all they really could in one record, and were sort of grasping and struggling to say something different. 

They’d done all they could with one record-sometimes that’s enough and when it’s time to stop, it’s time to stop.
 
I think I’ve previously written that some records are only suitable for a certain time of the year, or certain weather-I think it was about Sigur Ros and winter. 

Well, this is a hot, hazy summer record. The ideal place is the middle of a park, lying on the grass with an orange mivvi, staring heavenwards and making shapes out of the clouds in a blue sky.  


This is an extract from "Totally Shuffled-A Year of Listening to Music on a Broken iPod"
        


  and what "Totally Shuffled" is all about:



One track per day for 366 days on a broken iPod. 
366 tracks out of a possible 9553. 
From the obvious (The Rolling Stones), to the obscure (Karen Cooper Complex). 
From the sublime (The Flaming Lips) to the risible (Muse).   
From field recordings of Haitian Voodoo music to The Monkees. 
From Heavy Metal to Rap by way of 1930’s blues, jazz, classical, punk, and every possible genre of music in between. 
This is what I listened to and wrote about for a whole year, to the point of never wanting to hear any more music again. Some songs I listened to I loved, and some I hated. Some artists ended up getting praised to the skies and others received a bit of critical kicking. 
There’s memories of spending too many hours in record shops, prevaricating over the next big thing and surprising myself over tracks that I’d completely forgotten about. 
But with 40 years of listening to music, I realised that I’ll never get sick of it.  I may have fallen out of love with some of the songs in this book, but I’ll never fall out of love with music.     



Get/read Totally Shuffled here

Kindle:
          


Sunday, 26 April 2015

Stevie Wonder at Glastonbury-just the best party ever!



Stevie Wonder at Glastonbury-just the best party ever!





Waiting for Stevie as the sun goes down.


As it got closer to ten o’clock it became darker and darker and the crowd filled up even more. Chinese lanterns were floating over the crowd, rising higher and higher in the sky until they became mere faint specks of orange light, drifting out of sight. It was a magical scene, although I was relatively uninterested in Stevie Wonder arriving on stage.

How wrong I was.

Spot on at ten o’clock the lights on stage burst into life and there he was with the tightest band ever. From the get go the whole crowd, and by that I mean everybody there, was wholly captivated. We were seeing something truly special. He came on stage playing for the first song, a keyboard/guitar-y thing hanging from his neck and within a minute, probably less than that, there was bopping all around, singing and big smiles. 

Even at the top of the hill, looking around at every face I could see there was a collective sense of joy and happiness. I looked across at Amy and Sacha and gave them the big thumbs-up. They grinned back at me

“This is just brilliant!” shouted Sacha, nodding her head to the music.

Amy, dancing like a loon, “Its so boss!” 

Hit after hit followed. 

Bang. Bang. Bang.

 It’s incredible to think that he has so many great songs in his repertoire. What was just as impressive was the way he put it all together. It was like the perfect compilation, structured in just the right order. Started off with a massive entrance, took it up a notch and just kept it going. Maybe I could ask Stevie for a bit of advice for my next compilation.


Everybody loves Stevie!

When he sang and played a snippet of Alicia Keys’ New York, announcing it as “his favourite song in the last year” the 100,000 plus of us went collectively ape, but to then morph into “Living in the City” and then Michael Jackson’s “Human Nature” was an act of genius. 

However, to then follow that with “Uptight”, “For once in my life” and then “Fingertips” was something of Einstein-like proportions. Higher and higher! Hadn’t even reached “Signed, Sealed, Delivered”, “Sir Duke” or “Superstition” yet! 

Which, when they turned up, were beyond perfect. During “Superstition”, he shouted to us all to scream at the end of the first verse, the loudest roar came from the crowd. It was like the Ride of the Valkerie’s scene in Apocalypse Now-all the (few) hairs I had stood up on end. I must admit that a tear came into my eye. Somewhere deep in the crowd a flare was going off but unlike the atmosphere at Muse the previous evening there was no sense of threat, no undercurrent of unease. 

Just the best party ever.                                  
  

Get your flares on.



This is an extract from "Turn Left at the Womble- How a 48 year old Dad survived his first Time at Glastonbury", my first book (of three) about going to the best festival there possibly could be! 

They are all available here either as Kindle e books or in paperback;






There may well be another book on the way after this years festival...watch this space!

Monday, 20 April 2015

Totally Shuffled: Teenage Jesus & the Jerks-The Sound of Love




March 7th

Teenage Jesus and The Jerks-I Woke Up Dreaming-Everything   


The sound of what?

Ineptitude. Noise. Clatter.Screaming.

Rock and Roll. Punk. Classical music.

The blue-iest music that there could be.

Woke up this morning and …woke up dreaming.

New York. City. Cities falling into dust.

The sound of. Time.

The sound of uneasy listening. The sound of professionalism. Jazz and something so avant garde it gone round the other side.

Music for talent(less) shows. Music and sound that is utterly irrelevant in 2012. This is so far away from what is considered contemporary that I couldn’t imagine it even being thought of now, let alone being produced. It now sounds so old-fashioned that the shock of the new has been replaced by the apathy of the so what? This is as relevant now as it was in 1979/1980.

This is music that will only make sense in a yet unknown future. It can never make sense at a time when it’s been played-it’s as if it’s waiting for everything to catch up but it’s always moving too fast-it’s too far ahead. If there are alternate, parallel universes-other dimensions-well, maybe there it could be understood-but probably not. It’s a step too far to think that could happen-that Teenage Jesus & the Jerks could be comprehended fully.

The most logical music. It sounds like mathematics. Geometry.

The sound of applied physics.

The sound of particles.

The sound of something so polished, so rehearsed beyond what is necessary. Music that’s been too practiced and honed, sharpened like a craft knife. Every note, every tone, every beat is simply what is required. The most well-versed band there could ever be.

This is the sound of the heaviest music possible.

It’s a cliché, but it’s hard and tough. Sonically. Hard and tough to listen to. It can’t be background music, but should be played in lifts and department stores. Supermarkets. Teenage Jesus and the Jerks piped through ceiling speakers in Asda. The ideal music to have whilst getting the shopping.

The sound of insignificance.

The sound of bafflement.

They are the best heavy metal band there has ever been. Forget Iron Maiden and the rest; Teenage Jesus and the Jerks should headline Monsters of Rock every year.

The most anti-rock group that there could be. Forget traditional chord structures, song structures and any kind of structure in fact. Beyond deconstructed-Teenage Jesus and The Jerks did not have an initial structure to dismantle in the first place.

If anything is a meaningless racket, then this is what it is. It depends what is meant by a meaningless racket though. Even something thrown together at random has its own meaning. What does Teenage Jesus and the Jerks mean? Do they mean something else in 2012 than they did in 1987? Am I asking too many questions about something that is self-evidently obvious?

The ideal way to perform music-ten minute sets with thirty-second songs. There is no reason to do any more. Nothing else to be said.

The sound of unlearnt instruments.

The sound of intense thought and consideration.

Music that if played backwards it would sound exactly the same. The sound of entropy. The sound of the end of days. Or the beginning of something. The sound of “where do we go from here?” What could be next? What could this evolve into? Or have we reached a natural conclusion? What could possibly come after this?

The sound of love.

This is an extract from "Totally Shuffled-A Year of Listening to Music on a Broken iPod"
        


  and what "Totally Shuffled" is all about:



One track per day for 366 days on a broken iPod. 
366 tracks out of a possible 9553. 
From the obvious (The Rolling Stones), to the obscure (Karen Cooper Complex). 
From the sublime (The Flaming Lips) to the risible (Muse).   
From field recordings of Haitian Voodoo music to The Monkees. 
From Heavy Metal to Rap by way of 1930’s blues, jazz, classical, punk, and every possible genre of music in between. 
This is what I listened to and wrote about for a whole year, to the point of never wanting to hear any more music again. Some songs I listened to I loved, and some I hated. Some artists ended up getting praised to the skies and others received a bit of critical kicking. 
There’s memories of spending too many hours in record shops, prevaricating over the next big thing and surprising myself over tracks that I’d completely forgotten about. 
But with 40 years of listening to music, I realised that I’ll never get sick of it.  I may have fallen out of love with some of the songs in this book, but I’ll never fall out of love with music.     



Get/read Totally Shuffled here

Kindle: